What to do when you don’t know what to do

Hi everyone! I am well aware I have been an absentee recently. We have been in a period of decision and activity and I haven’t had the headspace or physical space to actually think let alone write a blog.

Recently, we have been trying to figure out what the heck to do next. By we I mean myself as an individual, us as a married couple, and us as an entire family. Its tricky, because there are 5 people and two dogs, all of which have needs and desires, which often differ and also contrast! So, it got me to 40932335_2122533404678531_2251544516534206464_nthinking, what do you do when you don’t know what to do?

Well, the first thing I always try to remember is something my Mum always says in a much kinder tone that it first appears when written, “Whatever you do will be wrong”. Now, my Mum is the Wonderbra of parents – she is the most supportive and amazing thing you will ever have. What she means is that there is fault in everything. For example, you decide to move to somewhere warmer, you’re away from family and you might get sunburn. I’m sure you get the picture now? So I guess that its all about that good old word – ‘compromise’. But then, on what do we compromise and how?

Mind blowing stuff. For us anyway. I long to be a person who thrives on 9to5 routine, on familiarity, and on simplicity. But the truth is I am not any of those things. I am an adventurer, a dreamer, a romantic. And Dan longs for more too – there is only so much building work one person can do you know, old joints and that!

But also, our fabulous boys need to have their needs met. They do need familiarity, routine and strong friendships. As we all do, but of course for children, physical distance plays a bigger role than it might do as an adult.

So over the past few weeks, we have been trying to concoct a plan which makes everyone happy. And as I’m sure you thought when you read that last sentence, it isn’t going to happen!

Stress is ultimately useless. And what I have been doing instead of trying to plan, is to actually remind myself to enjoy the small moments. I realise that this is such a current cliché; ‘be present’, 40833736_1068089986700069_1877765762010054656_n‘enjoy the now’, ‘be mindful’…. as we all roll our eyes and think yeh yeh. But seriously, it is powerful stuff.

Watch those kids play, smile at their innocent joy. Don’t frown at changing the bedding but look forward to enjoying that amazing clean-sheet feeling tonight. Cook something delicious, and sit together to enjoy the taste and the chatter.

Honestly, enjoy what is happening right now. Because somewhere, in the midst of it all, what is important becomes suddenly so apparent that you will wonder how you ever questioned it.

….. and yes, playing with a cardboard box is still fun whether you’re 8 months, 8 years or 28 years 🙂

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